A Sleepless Night

Tonight my children lay sleeping Peacefully in their beds. I rearranged their covers And gently kissed their heads. But as I lingered in their doorway And listened to them breathe, I realized what a gift it is To watch my children sleep. Tonight I thanked the Lord for Thirty sticky fingers, Thirty stinky toes And three sets of boyish hands That I can tightly hold And while they are only mine on lend From my Father up above I’ll cherish every moment He gives me them to love.

Oh, Dear!

Has it really been over eight months since I have posted anything?!?!?
I guess that goes to show you how many people check out my site. :-)

Don't really know what to say; a lot has happened in eight months. Good, good things.

My husband is still my very best friend, and he is still as handsome as ever.

The boys are all doing well; I will try to give a synopsis of them soon.

I am . . . blessed. God has been teaching me so much lately; may I be a faithful student and apply these lessons to my life!

I am also on a journey to be healthier. I have dropped twenty pounds since October, but this last month I have slacked off a bit.

Hmmm . . . maybe this blog needs to take on a new role, one that may keep me more accountable to my goals?!?!?!?

Nat and I have been bombarded with business, so our goal toward minimalism has sadly slowed down some too. We have been doing well with keeping up on the rooms we have done, but we still have much more than we need!

I am in the process of prioritizing my time and my efforts right now, which is one reason this blog has been sadly neglected. I just need to think through the purpose of keeping a blog. And if I find that it is not a profitable and valuable use of my time, I will sign off permanently.

So for now, this is my life this moment.

And it is good, because my God is good.

Summer Update in Pics!

Wonderful Family.
Wonderful Memories.

Stayed upon Jehovah

Wow.
News reports and facebook posts flow in. Comments concerning last night's victory reveal people's true perspectives about God and others.
Where is my mind this morning?
As I watched Sam crawl across the messy kitchen floor I realized just how small my little world has become. My main concerns are not about a terrorist who was captured; my thoughts are on the three little ones whom God has given me to raise. I spent time with Jack before he got on the bus. I mentally planned out what chores Andrew and I needed to complete today. I laughed at Sam's latest accomplishment (opening the cabinets and drawers in the kitchen).
I do live in a bubble, I thought.
Then I remembered Lamentations 3:21-26, and I found myself once again thinking about the words of my favorite hymn.

Like a river glorious, is God’s perfect peace,
Over all victorious, in its bright increase;
Perfect, yet it floweth, fuller every day,
Perfect, yet it groweth, deeper all the way.

Hidden in the hollow of His blessed hand,
Never foe can follow, never traitor stand;
Not a surge of worry, not a shade of care,
Not a blast of hurry touch the spirit there.

Every joy or trial falleth from above,
Traced upon our dial by the Sun of Love;
We may trust Him fully all for us to do.
They who trust Him wholly find Him wholly true.

Stayed upon Jehovah, hearts are fully blest
Finding, as He promised, perfect peace and rest.




I captured this moment with Sam this morning because I needed a mental reminder. Sam knows that he can rely on me to meet his every need, and he is happy and secure in his little bubble.

On mornings like this I need to trust my unchangeable God. Only in Him am I safe in uncertainty, protected in danger, comforted in adversity.

This morning I an thankful that God's mercies are new each and every morning.

May your heart rest and rejoice in God's faithfulness today.

beautiful waiting

Last night during a business meeting we heard the testimony of one of our teens who will soon be baptized. What a blessing to hear this young man vocalize the change that Nat and I have so clearly seen in his life over the past year. As I Andrew sat on my lap listening to Matt he whispered in my ear,
"Mommy, you are saved too, just like Matthew."

I nodded and hugged him close. Then he whispered again,

"Mommy, someday soon I will get saved too."

The seeds of truth have been planted, and while I may not see it every day, I know that my great God is causing His Word to take root in Andrew's heart. God's beautiful work of salvation is beginning in my little boy. May God continue to give us wisdom as we wait for God's timing.

Springtime

I love spring. I love the first trip to the park each spring.I love, love, LOVE having THREE boys to take to the park.

 

 

 

Here's to hoping that spring and summer are full of sunny days and warm memories!

Tonight's Conversation

 

This evening we had dinner with Nat's family. Jack was quiet throughout the evening, a bit unusual for him. Before we left for home, Jack said he read about black holes today in science class. He told me in a quivering voice, "Mom, I am so afraid that we might get sucked into one."

I calmly told him that would never happen, and Jack asked, "But mom, how do you know for sure?
Now, I must admit that my first response was to sigh and say, "Because I said so." Thankfully, I took a moment and recognized the genuine concern of my eight-year-old son. I assured him that once we got home, I would show him how I knew for sure.

A half hour later, I sat on my bed with my son, and we read together several verses from Revelation 19, 20, and 21. I sat in awe as I watched God's Word penetrate the heart of my child. As Jack read those precious promises of how the one caled Faithful and True comes in victory and how God will one day wipe away all tears, I saw fears turn into faith. My little one turned to me and said, "God has the final victory, doesn't He?"

With a grateful heart, I prayed with my son and praised the One Who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Couldn't Resist a Few More Pics

I DO have pictures of Jack and Andrew, and I WILL post them soon!

Almost six months ago . . .

God sent this little guy into our lives.

 

I am so very thankful He did.

MIA

Tap, tap, tap

Is anyone listening?!?!?

Sorry for the incredibly loooong delay in blogging. I just got a new computer, and my google site made me clear all my cookies before I could log in.

After staring at the same message every time I tried to leave a message on other blogs or every time I tried to enter my own site, I finally got up the nerve to follow the steps and try to sol
ve the dilemma.

(Mind you, this is the first time I have EVER IN MY LIFE done anything like this without my computer techie love's help.)

So I digress. . .

Anyway, now I think I am up and running. Again.

I have many belated posts, and I have new pics of my boys that I want to put up here.

But alas, I have doctor appointments and dentist appointments today.

I also have VBS lessons due March 1st.

So, as I have time (snicker, snicker!) I will slowly get back into blogging.

Here's hoping to catch up soon!

Erin

Put Away the Scoreboard

Note from the Editor:
Yes, I know that I am sadly failing from posting cute pics and funny anecdotes of Mr. Sam I Am and my life with three sons. But God has been at work in my heart, showing me so many areas that I need to change. As a result, I have been secretly working on a Bible study for some time now, and I am trying to organize my thoughts and my notes written throughout my random journals. I figured this would be one place to sort of "test the waters" with some of the topics that I am working on.

This excerpt is both the opening and closing on my study of Ephesians 4:29-32. God has used Ephesians 4 and 5 to speak volumes to my heart (the part about putting off falsehood has been an especially hard pill for me to swallow, but I will save that for a later post!)

Anyway, please feel free to leave comments. I value others' opinions and input as I strive to put this together, more for my own learning than for that of others.
So, here it is:
Put Away the Scoreboard!
Have you ever been to a baseball game and watched the people in the stadium? Since I am not a huge sports fan (I couldn’t tell you the names of more than three players on my “favorite” team), I often bore easily at these events and choose instead to indulge in my favorite sport: people watching.
You see all different types of individuals: the die-hard vocal fans who leave the stadium hoarse from their cheers and/or groans; the quiet, reserved stoics who take in each play and rarely break out emotions except during especially intense moments of action. But my favorite people to watch at a sporting event are the ones with the scorecard in hand. They not only do not want to miss any of the action, they choose to take part in as much action as possible by keeping track of all the players, their stats, and the runs scored. Those are the individuals who keep a running play-by-play of the action around them.

While this hobby is a well-defined discipline during a game, it is sadly an atrocity in the Christian life. Too many times we carry our own personal scorecards of friends and family around us. Whether we are tracking others’ financial success or personal victories, we mentally place a tally mark on our little scorecard, and a seed of discontementment is planted in our hearts. Then later, sometimes when we least expect it, something happens between us and an individual, and all of the past “tally marks” rush into the forefront of our minds. We are reminded of every time that person has outshined us or made a bribe at us or spoken to us . . . or about us.

We begin to lose sleep over the situation. It becomes an all-consuming focus of our brain. No matter what we do, we just can’t let the situation go. We begin to see that person in a negative light. Everything that individual says now seems like a target pointed directly at us.
What was once a seemingly harmless pastime has led to bitterness and envy. And if the hobby continues, those seeds of bitterness sprout into our hearts, their roots become firmly planted, and their fruit displays itself in our lives in the form of anger, slander, and malice toward that individual. Pretty soon, everyone around us knows the score that we have been keeping.

Is it any wonder that before Paul’s command to be “kind and compassionate” and to “forgive” one another, he urged the Ephesians to get rid of the bitterness in their lives? True forgiveness and restored relationships WILL NOT BE POSSIBLE unless the weeds of envy have been pulled out of our hearts, roots and all.

So today, I ask you: Do you have issue with someone? Is there a competition between you and a friend? Is there someone who just gets under your skin? Do you see the constant error in an individual and feel urged to “make it right” all the time with that individual?

If so, stop keeping score of that person’s life and start to examine your own. Perhaps you have planted seeds of bitterness in your heart. If left unattended that ugly weed will overgrow and kill the delicate fruits of the Spirit that God is trying to display in your life. Your testimony and service to God will be limited as the plant of envy completely overtakes your heart.
Cut down the weed of bitterness at the root. Ask God to rip it out of your heart. Only then will you truly be content with what God has placed in your life, and only then will God be able to use you as He truly desires.
Remember: The ground is level at the foot of the cross. God sees all believers the same on the playing field: through the blood of His Son. Let’s strive to see each other that way as well.

From the Lord

"For this child I have prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to Him. Therefore, I have lent him to the LORD. As long as he lives, he is lent to the LORD."


Thank you to all who have prayed for Samuel throughout this pregnancy. We are so thankful and blessed beyond measure to welcome this little gift from God.

Random Things, Part 4

I Love Your Daddy
Little One,
Eleven years ago, I married your Dad.


What a crazy, wild roller coaster ride this has been! It has not always been easy, but God has blessed our marriage in so many ways, namely in the three little blessings that God has chosen to give us.
I could go on and on, making this one of the mushiest posts ever, but that is not really your dad and me. Don't get me wrong; I love your Daddy very much, and I am all about the mushy stuff.
But what your dad and I have is built on something so much bigger than that. We have chosen to make a lifetime covenant between each other and our Heavenly Father. The love that comes from such a bond flows much deeper than heart flutters and daydreams.
I am so thankful that our marriage is based on commitment, trust, friendship, and love. Your dad and I are free to be ourselves, but we strive to be the best version of ourselves for each other - and for you, Andrew, and Jack.
We will never be perfect, and we will never see eye-to-eye on everything. So you may hear "discussions" and "arguments" from time to time, but I want you and your brothers to remember that the foundation that our family is built upon is firm. And we will do everything through God's strength and faithfulness to keep our home built and focused on Him.
So, little one, I want you to rest in the fact that I love your papa more than I ever thought possible. As I watch him playing with your two brothers, I can't help but imagine that in a few years, you get to join in the fun and craziness of time with daddy.

And that, baby, makes me one happy and thankful Mama!

Random Things, Part 3

3. Our House is beginning to look like a baby will live here soon!

The crib is all set up.
The teeny tiny clothes are washed and folded. (Thanks, Aunt Lisa and Grandma Donna!)
The Pack N Play is ready to be set up downstairs.
The cloth diapers are all sorted out in their sizes and stacks.
The car seat is ready to be installed in the van.
Mommy's bag is almost packed.
I finished sewing your receiving blankets yesterday, and I am trying to finish your burp cloths, quilt, and crocheted blanket.
So, what is still left to do? Well, first and foremost we probably need to get serious and decide on a name for you!
Here are some of the names Mommy and Daddy have been thinking about:
Luke (Daddy doesn't like this one at all, but it is still one of my favorites, so I had to include it on this list!)
Isaac
Gabriel
Joel
Samuel
Andrew still would like to name you Zacheus, but we assured him that you will not always be a "wee little man in mommy's tummy" and that you may need a different name.
Jack likes the names Isaac, Eli, Joshua, and Caleb.
Rest assured that by the time we get ready to take you home, we WILL have a name picked out for you!
As we get the final things in the house ready for your arrival, my mind is often pondering you.
What will you look like?
How will you act?
How big will you be?
When will you decide to come? (BTW: give me at least another week and a half, okay, buddy?)
As I think about all these things, I can't help but imagine in my mind a perfect little round face with a splotch of dark hair, and a tiny fist curled up to your perfect little cheek.
But you know what, little guy? If you end up being completely different from that mental image, it's okay. We will love you, no matter what.
So as I continue to ponder these little questions and finish the last-minute items on our list, I will be waiting for the moment that I can hold you close and whisper in your little ear,
"Momma loves you!"

Random Things, Part 2

2. Our Not-So-Perfect Life.

Dearest Little One,
I have to laugh at all the little baby commercials where the mommy is a perfect size 6 with beautiful hair and makeup, cuddling her perfectly beautiful newborn baby. Her life seems like perfect bliss, and the maternal instinct of all women of child-bearing age kicks in.

What makes that perfect moment so funny? Because it is just that: perfect. And sweetie, that will NEVER happen here!

There will be many times in the next few months where Mommy is at my wit's end. Believe me, it happened when both your brothers were newborns. The combination of a recovering body (NOT a size 6), a tired mommy and daddy, rambunctious boys, and a crying newborn will soon be the norm in this household.

But, call me crazy, I am kind of looking forward to those moments, because it will be a part of life, the life that God has called me to. And you know what? I wouldn't change a thing.

I love my God. I love my church. I love my husband. I love my boys. I love my family. I love my friends.

I am blessed, and I cannot wait to hold you, my littlest blessing.

So, even though our life will not be perfect, you will forever be a part of it, because God has chosen to place you in our family.

And I, for one, am grateful.

Random Things I Want Baby Kealen to Know, Part 1

I was inspired by The Other Mamma's top ten list for her soon-to-be-arriving princess, and I thought it would be fun to let our little guy in on a few noteworthy items that he may want to be prepared for as well. So, here it goes . . .


1. You have two older brothers who can't wait to meet you!
Many times throughout the day there is a little boy hugging and kissing you inside your warm and safe home. And while I am excited that your brothers are so affectionate with you, I cringe at just how "affectionate" they may be once you meet them face to face. Just so you know, little one, we are trying to teach them good baby etiquette, but they are having a hard time with the idea of your needing personal space. So as your momma, I am apologizing now, and I will try to keep their loving on you at a tolerable level.

While we are on the subject of older brothers, I feel I must also warn you about the noise level you will most likely encounter. I know that according to the baby books and articles I have read, you already hear all the noise in our home. But again, I must remind you that what you hear is a muffled precursor. The decimal levels will be much louder outside the womb, I promise you!

To be fair to my first two boys, it isn't so much the volume level at our home as it is the constant chatter. And I do mean constant. You will learn a lot about Legos, Star Wars action figures, marine life, math facts, and Make Believe from your brothers. From the moment the first is up (usually by 6:30) until they both are in bed, there is chatter.

And for the record, I do enjoy it. Most of the time.

So, little buddy, as I think about adding your noise to this crazy place we call home, I can't help but smile. And if your mamma knows anything about you at all, I know that you will soon be able to keep up with both of your big brothers, and I KNOW that you will come to love them as much as your daddy and I do.

As much as I look forward to meeting you in person and getting to know you, I want to encourage you to stay put for a few weeks longer. Your home in my tummy is calm and quiet. Enjoy it while you can, because the moment you enter this world, you will forever be added to the crazy, constant chatter of this Kealen family.

While it may be a little loud, it is full of love. And we can't wait to officially welcome you into the mix.

Gentle Reminders of a Great Big God

For the three people who sometimes follow my blog, you know that my blood pressure has been an issue for almost my entire pregnancy. Well, it seems that issue may play a part in our peanut's birthday!

At my last appointment, my doctor mentioned that we may need to induce a few weeks early. Over the next two days, my mind went to my very long to-do list, and I began to feel the pressures of all my expectations rising. I had so much I wanted to do before this baby came. What if I didn't get them all done? What if my blood pressure created real health concerns for both me and the baby? What if . . .

As my jumbled thoughts went into high gear last night, I was reminded to be still.
My heart wanted to argue, "But Lord, what if people stop by our parsonage? It needs to be spotless.
And, Lord, I have so many loose ends that need to be tied. If someone else tries to step in and take care of all of them, they will become one giant jumbled knot!
And what about the health of my baby?"
Again, I remembered, "Be still."
As I began to calm my heart and ponder on Psalm 46:10, I realized that there are two commands that I need to follow.
First, I do need to be still. I need to stop all motion and craziness and busyness in my life.
But I also need to know (and accept) my God as being Who He is:
- the loving Father Who is gently forming my little one in His perfect way.
- the sovereign faithful Lord Who holds my future and my baby's future in His hands.
That verse continues with the promise that God will be exalted. His sovereign plans will be carried out, and nothing, NOTHING that happens in my life will EVER come as a surprise to Him.
For me, it is not enough just to stop fretting and be still. I must also consciously recognize and trust in my God to do what He sees best for my family.
And you know what? When I began to focus on my faithful Father, the worries stopped. The fear of uncertainty gave way to a peace, and my spirit was able to rest quietly in the faithful and trustworthy hands of my God.
So today, if your thoughts are struggling with unanswered questions and the craziness of life, take time to
"Be still and KNOW that I am God" (Psalm 46:10).

My Ever-Growing List

Preparing for baby needs to get kicked into high gear around here! A friend of mine asked me yesterday what I still needed to do before this baby gets here. I responded.

A lot, but I have a few more months. She looked at me and smiled. "Actually," she commented, "you have a little under two months!"

WOWSERS!!!!!!!!!

Her comment made me realize that I have a lot to do in the next seven weeks. So, here goes the beginning of my ever-growing list.

1. Set up the crib.
2. Wash the baby bedding.
3. Wash all the tiny, adorable baby boy clothes. (Thanks, Jennifer, for dressing my baby for his first few months of life!)
4. Packing my hospital bag.
5. Getting a new pediatrician! (Our practice will no longer have a pediatrician on staff!)
6. Register Jack for second grade.
7. Purchase Jack's school supplies.
8. Finish cleaning/organizing the kitchen cabinets (only three more sets of cabinets to go!)
9. Heavy-duty cleaning of the house!
10. Prepping and preparing freezer meals.
11. Finishing my baby sewing.
12. Choosing a name for this baby!
13. Finishing the blanket I am crocheting.

Just looking at this list makes me want to take a nap! I will be one busy mommy in the next seven weeks, and I am already praying that I will not stress too much if some things on my list don't get done.

While I know that I have put off doing some major projects, I have taken time each day in the last few weeks to spend quality time with my two boys. I have had such a fun summer with them, and I would not trade those moments with them for anything!

But now . . . I must get my rear in gear and get busy.


(Oh, and if I find the cord to my camera, I will post some new pics of some of these projects!)

Soaking in Life

The last three weeks have been crazy for us. Trying to cram outpatient surgery, VBS, and a national conference into a twenty-three day span has left my family a little groggy.
While my list of household duties and "before baby" projects seems never ending, God keeps gently reminding me that I need to soak in life with my two precious little boys. Their lives will change - for the better - in ten short weeks, and I want to love on them and enjoy the remaining time that I have to devote completely to them.

In my last pregnancy, I couldn't wait for it to be over. While I know there will be days ahead when I am ready to be done, I hope to soak in every moment with the two little boys who are growing up so quickly. And, I cherish each little movement of my youngest who is nestled under and in my heart.

As God continues to prepare our family to welcome this new little life, I am begging Him to give me the strength and endurance to be a faithful wife, selflessly meet the needs of a newborn, and to also serve Jack and Andrew. I know that as I rely on Him He will give me the strength to handle these challenges. I hope I can do so with a joyous heart and a humble spirit.

Family Update

Baby Kealen at 28 weeks.
 
Wow! I can't believe I actually posted this picture! At today's visit, Baby Kealen weighed just an ounce shy of 3 pounds and is measuring exactly ten days ahead of schedule!
It was sooo much fun to get a peek at this little guy. He was stretching and sucking his thumb. It was a lot of fun to see him again, and aside from hearing that he seems to be doing well, my favorite news was that he has hair!!!!!!!!!

In other news, the other two Kealen boys in my home are enjoying summer. Today was the first day of VBS, and I love, love, love hearing the first three words of the theme song floating throuhgout my home. My only hope is they soon pick up the rest of the song! :-)
 
Jack is recovering very well from his eye surgery. Praise the Lord, the initial post-op visit showed that the surgery on his left eye was successful. We praise the Lord for His goodness and protection in bringing Jack safely through his surgery.

Now my main goal for the rest of the summer is to stay out of the hospital until this little guy makes his appearance, Lord willing not before the very end of August!